Lucy Lawless Facts

One of the silly internet things I fondly recall are Chuck Norris facts. The issue, of course, is that Chuck Norris is was a terrible person.

By the power vested in me by nobody at all, I now declare that the following will be the only and final Chuck Norris fact:

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing others down.

All the good old ones will be transferred to someone more deserving: Lucy Lawless. What follows is a non-exhaustive list.

• If you want a list of Lucy Lawless’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
• The dinosaurs looked at Lucy Lawless the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
• If Lucy Lawless were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Lucy Lawless and they both fought, they would both win.
• Lucy Lawless does not use spell check. If she happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
• Lucy Lawless counted to infinity… twice.
• When Lucy Lawless does a pushup, she’s pushing the Earth down.
• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Lucy Lawless out. It didn’t work.
• When Lucy Lawless was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Lucy Lawless.
• Lucy Lawless can divide by zero.
• Airplanes were invented by Lucy Lawless because she was tired of being the only person that could fly.
• Lucy Lawless can slam a revolving door.
• Death once had a near-Lucy-Lawless experience.
• Lucy Lawless can unscramble an egg.
• Champions are the breakfast of Lucy Lawless.
• Lucy Lawless can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
• Lucy Lawless can kill two stones with one bird.
• Lucy Lawless can speak braille.
• The flu gets a Lucy Lawless shot every year.