32-Bit Sillies
These are a bunch of terrible shitshops (a portmanteau of shitpost and photoshop) and other silly image constructions which I made during light-hearted discussions in the chatgroup of the 32-Bit Café. Sometimes a funny idea pops into my head and I quickly cobble something together for a quick laugh, so they're not necessarily very polished. These were all ephemeral, existing in a specific context, but I have saved a selection of them here since others asked me to do so.
Since these are so context-dependent, I will try to provide some context here, often through chatlogs. The formatting and punctuation of the messages have sometimes been adjusted, out of concern for how screenreaders will read them.
A meta one to start us off! The alleged ‘knock-off’ photoshop I use is GIMP, which many find very cumbersome to use. But it's what I am familiar with.
Joking how I've been at the 32-Bit Café for a long time.
“I don't even remember how I found this spot. I think I've always been here. Like that photo in the ending of The Shining. You know the one.”
Xandra: What if we did a 32-bit ball in a castle?
James: Like a ball pit? Or a dance? Because a castle-sized ball pit sounds pretty cool.
Xandra: Definitely not a ball pit!
Dashcon all over again…
Coby: A ballpit ball dance tho…
A first iteration of the image was made
Xandra: God, you know that smells!
Coby: This is solvable though. Just add some scented candles.
A second iteration was made
Leviathren: You'd need several tons of baking soda to absorb the odor in that room.
Coby: And I added a little trees air freshener too. I think the issue is definitely concluded now. 😎
A final iteration was made
A trend you might notice it that I love to take things too literally, on purpose.
Jay: Also good timezone everyone, I went to the farmers' market today. 🫡
???: What did you get?
Coby: Farmers, presumably.
When Velvet was working on a site redesign:
“Just […] abandon your entire design and typeset your website as a Spongebob title card.
Dang, that actually doesn't even look half-bad!”
Singling out Jay for no reason at all
To sketch some context. Jay, with a Porygon avatar, likes to play DDR at the arcade. DDR means Dance Dance Revolution, but it could also mean… the German Democratic Republic. And an arcade can also be a succession of contiguous arches.
Jay: Gang, I am turning to mush in this empty Rite Aid.
Coby: Oh no! Clean-up on aisle 6. 😦
Jay: Damn, you shopped me into a fancy Rite Aid with updated merchandising.
Coby: Voila, fixed it! Can't find it any older and emptier!
Jay: A world famous Train Spot right here…
Real trainheads know this spot…
(The
Pennsylvania Horseshoe Curve)
(It's not doxxing myself if I have long since passed it and live nowhere
near here)
Coby: So you don't live in the giant plastic Porygon house nearby?
The best part of Porbius was when they said It's Porbin' Time!
and porbed all over those guys.
“When it all becomes too much, I want you to picture yourself chilling at a dreamcast era glossy-rendered beach.”
Manatee: I'm now imagining a big Porygon being climbed on by toddlers.
Jay: Desperately wish I was a big Porygon irl.
Coby: My mind went to those rocking toys.
Jay: This dog [has] been lovely to everyone in the store except me. Fucked up!!! Why can't I pet her…
Coby: You just gotta be sneaky about it. Really sneaky.
The continuous stream of these edits of course ultimately ends up with a biblically accurate Porygon.
The crowning achievement of this process is probably this video: